Wilton Lodge
                                                            25th. August
                                                                   1802.

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My Dear Sister,
      I received your Letter, &
the enclosure for old Mother Carter,
yesterday. The latter, I instantly returned
to its Travels, after having condescended
to peruse it, according to Your
Commands; but, my doing so, had
nearly been attended with destruction
to it, as the Butter it contained, made
me Bilious, and gave me an instantaneous
inclination to puke (saving your
presence). It really entertains me
to see how You blue Stocking Ladies
compliment, and adore one another.
By the bye, I have always forgotten
to tell You, that Mrs- Douglas, late
Mrs- Beauvoir, late Miss Sharp, who
nibbled her Nails, instead of eating
the Hot Rolls at St. James's, lives
within twenty Miles of me. I have
never seen her, since she came to
reside at Kelso, but have met with
him. Maria & I propose going into
that Neighbourhood, in the course of

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this Autumn, to pay a Bridal Visit
to a Relation of mine, who has been
married these two Years nearly, and was blessed
with a Son & Heir, some Months ago.
All this time, however, I have never
had leisure to wait on him. These
tiresome customs of the World are
very annoying. How absurd is it, to
put one's self to inconvenience, by
travelling twenty Seven Miles to see
People, for whom, indifference is the
only feeling? If I had swallowed my
breakfast, perhaps, I might have entertained
You, with a Sentimental
Disquisition on this Subject. But,
having just been startled by the
sonorous blowing of my reverend
Brother Dr. Hunter's Nose, echoing
through the Hall, I presume, some
of my small Fry will very soon
call me to Tea, and Toast, as his Reverence
seldom descends from his Morning
Meditations till about the hour of
Attack.
      Do You understand Persian? My
eldest Boy (not sixteen till October, but
measuring five feet Nine Inches in
stature, “long, lank, and bony, like
“any Little tony)”, is sitting by me, disfiguring
, and blotting my smoothest

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and best writing Paper, pretending that
he is forming Persic Characters. It is a
delightful thing, and vastly gratifying
to a Parent, when a Child knows
more than himself. Not that I suspect
my William will be guilty of so great
a Crime as to become learned, and thereby
rival the fame of his Ancestor, who
invented the Logarithms, & Rhabdologiæ,
likewise writing a Treatise on the Revelation
of St. John, in which, we his
Descendants know that he is mistaken,
having fixed the General Judgement
to take place in the Year 1786, and still
we breathe in the Year 1802. No, I comfort
myself, that my Boy will not
waste his Vigils, in deep Study. Like
myself, I suspect, if he can procure
Meat, drink, & clothing, without
much mental exertion, it would
suit him as well, and he would
be better contented, than even to
gain admission into Your Tribe, an
honour I never dared to aspire to.
      Having written the best part
of three Pages of Nonsense, it is now
time to say, that I trust Your Nerves
have regained a firmer Tone, than
when Your Letter was written,
and that You may not have
any more alarms from Fire. I like

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the account You give of Louisa; but,
pray don't let her grow quite so fat
as Yourself, as in that Case, there will
be no room for Mr. Dickenson in
the Carriage. I hope the Grouse may
afford him amusement. Here, the
Shooters stand some chance of being
drowned. It rains every day, and
the Moors are very wet. I fear, that
the Harvest in this Country will
be very late, and must suffer considerably
, unless the weather turns
very dry. Last Year, my Crops of all
sorts were in the Barn Yard in the
first week of September. This year,
I only finished stacking my Hay, on
Saturday.
      Maria joins me in best
wishes to You & Yours. Ever My
Dear Sister,
                             Your Affectionate Brother
                                                         Napier

Compliments to my
Countrywoman.