I am afraid, my dear Cousin, you must think
I have quite forgotten you. Just after I
received your last kind letter (franked
by Lord Napier) I was taken so ill that
it required great medical skill, and
all my poor Father's tender care, to save
my life. To let you into the truth, this
attack was entirely brought on by agitation
of mind. You know the unpleasant state
of suspense that I have long been in: it
has terminated by the discovery that Mr:
Holman does not wish, nor, in fact, would
consent, to have me with him, in Dublin,
where he has renewed his engagement.
He adduces reasons so little
credible, that I have the strongest ground
to fear that the true one must be, some
other attachment. Rumours to that effect,
reached me long ago, but I gave no
credit to them. One of the chief motives

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he alleged being a plan of economy, my
Father with the utmost kindness, offered
to make an addition to our income, for
the purpose of enabling us to live comfortably
together. That proposition being unsuccessful
, of course confirms my suspicions.
You may easily judge what I have suffered,
particularly as the suspense was so protracted.
However, I must now, bear with what
patience I can, a misfortune not brought
on by any fault of mine. I came to
London a short time since; having resolved
upon looking out for some little
moderate establishment for myself, here;
as the air of Bath never agreed well
with my health, and I dislike it as a
residence on various other accounts. My
Father likes it no better than I do; so
I am not without all hope of his coming
to town. Should he, however, not remove,
I shall visit him every now and then.
      I am sure you will be vexed to hear

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this ill news. I deferred writing, because
I was still in the hope that things might
take a favourable turn; but that hope is
now extinct. I must quit the subject; for
it is too painful a one for me to dwell upon.
      I was very sorry at the account you
gave me of poor Mrs: Glover, whose goodness
of heart made her an object of great regard
. I fear to enquire after her, and
likewise after Lady Herries, who was afflicted
by a similar visitation -- but let me know
about them both.      I saw Mr: and Mrs: Halsey
at Bath, not very long before the death of
the former. I regret that he left his
money so oddly: besides his Sisters, I could
have wished he had left something, if ever
so trifling, to his daughter, Mrs: J: Beaver, in
addition to her provisions, as a token of remembrance
. --
      I hope you, Mr: Dickenson, and my Cousin
Louisa, have been well since I last heard
from you. Pray give my kind love to them. I
left my dear Father in tolerably good health, but

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spirits by no means mended. I don't think
Bath suits him well; but moving is such
an operation at his age, that there is no
certainty of his resolving upon it.
      When you write, direct Number 35 Aldgate
High Street, as, wherever I may be, Mrs: Mann

▼

will take care of the letter. Has Miss Anna Clarke
been with you, and how does she do?
Adieu, my dear Cousin -- I have nothing more to
tell you but that I am in a most unpleasant
state; which you must know already, by what I have
unfolded. I remain ever your obliged & affectionate
                                                         Jane Holman.

Mrs: Dickenson
      Leighton House
           Leighton Buzzard
                             Bedfordshire